summer fun

Summer has been hibernating here in the frozen north. We've waited and waited, but still nothing. We had a day of sunshine here, a fluke of a 100 degree day there, but nothing you could really call summer. Well, things are finally looking up and we are taking advantage of our summer forecast!

We did most of school while our baked oatmeal baked, finished up after breakfast, and made our way outside. And that is where we stayed for most of the day. Here's our day from start to finish. We got the garden weeded. We played on the swingset. We had an early lunch and hit the beach for a few hours.

We came home for showers and reading hours. We had ice cream sprinkled with crumbled up Uncle Paul cookies.

We headed to our shady backyard to play on the swingset, drive fire trucks, play catch with the football, and shoot hoops on the mini-hoop.

We came in to bop the balloon. Isaac colored, Audrey and Elliot played playdough, and I cleaned up the kitchen. I dropped the kids off to play and have dinner at a friend's house so I could go run with Moms on the run. We got home and the kids pretended they weren't tired, but quickly pjed it up, brushed teeth, and hit the hay, Jay.

It was a lazy summer day that stretched before us with blue skies and gentle breezes and we enjoyed it to its fullest.

Three-sniff, sniff, proud smile

Tonight I rocked my sleepy three-year-old before bed. Three years old. Three. I see the number and say the number, but it just doesn't add up for me. Because this big old boy is still my baby. This boy who potties in the potty seat we take everywhere, including the back of our car and next to the softball field. This boy who doesn't need a stroller at the zoo, but looks up after a long day of walking and, arms upstretched in universal sign language for carry me, says, "Mama, can you carry me? My legs are just done." This boy who looks at the Happy Birthday sign hanging in our house and finds all of the letters in his name, plus the Bs and As. This boy who sets the table and unloads part of the dishwasher and gets his own ice cubes. He's a boy, there's no denying it. But, also, he's my baby.

This is what love looks like

posing in front of his birthday gifts

Tonight I rubbed my three-year-old's back, his sturdy, strong back. And I remembered my exhausted body leaning over his crib rubbing and rubbing and rubbing the same back and feeling his heart beating rapidly under my palm as I wished his tired body to fall asleep so I could do the same. It feels like just a few nights ago, but really it's a few years ago. I wonder how that happens. How I can recall the droopy eyes and discomfort in my lower back and the feel of his small, sweaty back beneath his little onesie and the way his crying was poison to my ears as though it just happened. As though he didn't outgrow onesies years ago and graduate to a big boy bed months ago. As though he hasn't been falling asleep on his own and sleeping through the night for years. As though he isn't three.

loving my baby boy

But, alas, he is three. And he's more than I could have hoped for. I remember the night, our 10th Anniversary, I broached the subject of trying for a third baby. How could I have known that little conversation I was so worried about would lead to Elliot? Imagining our family without him hurts my heart and boggles my brain. He is ours and we are his. Three kids close together has left us sleepy and feeling understaffed, on the hard days, but has been the greatest adventure of our lifetime.

Oh happy day. Three kids together for the first time!

Elliot is hilarious and talkative (unless you're a stranger) and gregarious and serious and kind and sweet and cuddly and, oh, the dimples. They are impossible to resist. He turns me to mush when he smiles. His eyes scrunch up, his cheeks puff out, every last little tooth is on display, and the dimples are deep enough to hide Easter baskets. He is beautiful in every way, big and small. If I do say so myself. : )

one year old

Elliot's "basketball" year

What did I say about the dimples?

I pray this boy always, always knows how much his mama loves him. I pray that he feels God's love for him on the best and the worst of days. I pray that he grows strong in body and mind and spirit and continues to share his beauty and joy with everyone he meets, friend and, someday when he's feeling a bit braver, stranger. But tonight, my prayer went like this. "Thank you, God, for Elliot. Thank you for Elliot. Thank you for my son. I am so blessed. Thank you." And I could have spoken those words a thousand times and it would not have been adequate thanks for the blessing this boy, who is and always will be my baby, is in my life. Just in case you ever wonder.

Happy Birthday, sweet Elliot belliot woo woo!

family



Our kids are surrounded by fantastic cousins every which way they turn. Their aunts and uncles are the best. Their grandparents love them to itty bitty pieces. You'd be hard-pressed to find kids who are loved more than these three.

We've had such fun getting together with maclain and beckett a bit this summer. It is so fun to see them all play together, entertained by swings or cars or sand, hide and seek or balls or making each other giggle.

a tire swing fit for four

                                                                   picnic time

 the perfect teething toy

 playing catch-his mom got him right in the kisser

 mmmm-watermelon

after taking pictures of the birthday kids, Maclain said, "take a picture of this. I have one eye." So, of course, Isaac had to add bunny ears-because they're cousins!

It ranks right up there!

Joyful Noise family fest was one of the best days I've shared with my family. Every moment of the day was full of praise, fun, and joy. I pray so many prayers for my children and one is that they grow up knowing God, feeling Christ's loving presence in their lives, and answering God's call to serve others. This was a beautiful day to celebrate answered prayers and hopes for our future. Oh, and we had four tons of fun!

 We jumped.

 And jumped even higher.

 We snuggled the (almost) birthday girl.

 We got nice and dizzy rolling down hills. (Blach!)

 The boys snuggled, too.

 My sweet boy waited for all of his favorite songs.

 We danced and jammed and sang and, most importantly, praised loud and proud.

 We saw many of our favorite bands/singers.

 We got fun new t-shirts.

We give it an emphatic thumbs up! Can't wait for next year!

remember

It is so interesting to me, what our brain decides to hold onto. What moments it tucks away, presumably long forgotten, only to rush back unbidden because of a song heard, or a whiff of a familiar scent, or the texture of a blanket.

Isaac, Audrey, and Elliot are spending time with their nana and babu. It is the rarest of treats, something I enjoy even as I feel out of sorts at the quiet and the unencumbered arms and the time stretching before me with no thoughts of bedtimes and making dinner and taking turns. I am taking this chance to go through closets without small hands grappling for a toy they haven't thought of in ages. But I can't really begrudge them their sticky hands because how can I possibly know what memory each trinket holds for them?

I am finding hidden treasures at every turn. But they are treasures only to me. Other people would see a small pile of blankets, more than Audrey needs to swaddle her little baby Graces. I pick one up and remember buying it because it had textured tags along the perimeter and Audrey wanted nothing to do with toys, but was happiest sucking on the tags of her plush toys. I pull out a crinkled paper and see what looks like a childish drawing of a cardinal. But I remember sitting next to Isaac and Audrey at the art class, all of us drawing our cardinals, all of us beaming with pride that our pencils created something so realistic, when at first we thought we couldn't do it.

I remind myself that these things don't hold my memories, that I can't possibly remember every moment that brought us from there to here, that there is beauty now and beauty to come that can't be held in a thing or a picture. That's what I tell myself. But then I hold that little tagged blanket to my chin and memories flood me. She only loved tags, my adorable little Buddha baby who didn't so much sit as rested on her chubby little haunches. Yet she did not care one little bit about the tags on that blanket. We would hold it to her, put the tags in her mouth, but she would spit them out uninterested.

It's a story that doesn't matter, yet it matters to me. And I wonder why it's so important that I remember this, that I have these tidbits to share with my kids. Stories that don't matter, yet somehow make us, us. I remember so little from my childhood. I feel rooted to nothing. Maybe that is why it seems important to write on this blog and share these stories with them. We have this history together. And it is fun and adventuresome some days, sad and crabby other days, and mundane and boring, too. But it is our history and being a part of it is my greatest blessing. Just in case you ever wonder.

the view from here

It was a good day. Have I mentioned lately that my kids rock? Because, boy oh boy, they do!!

5

Audrey Shea turns five today. She said she feels taller and bigger and might even weigh more. She has two bottom teeth that are just the teeniest bit loose. She is growing. It is literally a miracle to watch this transformation. It is like watching a caterpillar, beautiful in its own right, erupt into a glorious butterfly. Audrey was an amazing baby. Happy and smiley and huggy and full of life. But I could never have imagined the joy and pride I'd feel as I watch my little caterpillar transform into an amazing and beautiful butterfly.

sweet as can be

She is becoming so much more than I could have hoped for. There are so many times that I look at her with awe and a feeling of complete gratitude for this amazing girl, her bright light in our lives, her smile that gives the sun a run for its money, her enthuasiasm for life that is displayed with wide eyes of wonder and fast twirling dances and spontaneous bursts of deep and overflowing giggles. She loves from the tips of her toes to the top of her head and wants everyone to feel that love. She is a mama to anyone younger than her, although her favorite "baby" is her little brother. She hugs the tightest and laughs the loudest and cries the longest and as far as daughters go, she is the bestest.

already bringing laughter to our lives

I think everyone would benefit from being a little more like Audrey. She throws convention to the wind and wears three layers of clothes, not a single one matching. She stops at every single lilac bush and breathes deeply and sighs loudly. She zooms as fast as her bike can possibly go just so she can slam on the breaks and admire the black skid mark. The girl knows how to live. And it makes mundane things like putting on your shoes in less than five minutes difficult or clearing your spot on the table without getting distracted by the puppy barking outside or the sprinkler spraying the grass nearly impossible.

being goofy with her brothers-a common occurrence

snuggling her brother-another common occurrence

Five years ago I could not have known how much I'd love her. Loving her is easy. But, I also really, really like her, even when she makes us late because her shoes are not nearly as interesting as looking for baby Grace. Even when I have to remind her to clear her dishes for the 34th time because she stopped to practice her curtsies. She is my daughter and I am so blessed to be her mama. And she is somehow, amazingly, fantistically five!

my awesome daughter!!!

brothers

Tonight Elliot was tucked in, snug as a bug in a rug on this cool summer night. I was reading The BFG to Audrey and Isaac was brushing his teeth. I heard Elliot cry a cry I know to mean distress, so I asked Isaac to check on him. Isaac quietly opened the door and said, "What's wrong, Elliot?" Through his sad tears Elliot answered, "I (sob sob) want my (sob sob) covers on (sob)." Isaac, ever the enforcer, replied, "When you ask Isaac with your calm voice, Isaac can help you." I heard Elliot take a few gulps, which turned to deep breaths, and then he asked calmly. Isaac covered him up and asked, "Is that all better, Elliot?" Elliot said yes and Isaac came out, but not before saying, "Good night, elliot. I love you," just as he gently closed the door. I love being the fly on the wall to these sweet interactions, dripping with brotherly love.

when left to their own devices

Tonight Audrey was helping me snap peas to add to our salad when Isaac came rushing in. "Do you want to play 'I'm so scared of myself?'"
"Monsters? No."
"No. I'm so scared of myself."
"Oh. I'm so scared of myself? Yeah!" And she ran out the door. Hmm, I thought to myself, what in the world is I'm so scared of myself? I looked out the window and it involves tripping over your own feet as you shout, "I'm so scared of myself." At dinner I asked for some clarification on the rules. Here's how it goes. You trip over your own feet because you're scared of yourself because half of your body is a monster and half is your body.

Later they played a game involving putting all hands in, shouting SUPERHERO, doing air karate chops, and finishing with a 3-kid dog pile.

It's safe to assume that creativity isn't an issue.

this boy

Elliot is too funny. Today he really wanted to be pregnant with baby Grace, but the slippery little girl kept falling out of his t-shirt. I offered to help him get her in a sling so he could hold her on his body. Not going to cut it. So, this is what we came up with. 

He walked around saying she was never going to be born. He ran to me every time she started to slip so I could tighten his little man/baby girdle. He practiced sitting, galloping, and playing jacks while pregnant. It was quite a site. Eventually it was time for lunch, so he had his baby while being coached by his big brother with shouts of, "push, push harder, Elliot." Never a dull moment. Never searching for a reason to laugh.

speaking of homeschool

This is what it looks like at its finest. It is a well-oiled machine. Everyone is engaged, involved, and inquisitive. Many times Audrey and Elliot are playing somewhere because they have less to do, but there is much learning going on in all of their playing, too. I do not have any pictures of homeschooling at its worst because in those moments I'm too busy to grab a camera. I'm being pulled in three different directions and at least one kid is highly irritated. Or screaming. Or pushing a sibling. You get the drift. But, for us, it's always worth it. Just in case you ever wonder!

the joys of homeschooling

One thing I've noticed so far in our homeschooling is that, so far, our kids don't know they're supposed to dread things like spelling tests and grammar. It's a beautiful thing. (Of course they have their moments of frustration) Today, after Audrey had finished with reading and math, she asked if she could start her kindergarten book that nana bought for her because she was soooo excited to be 5 and couldn't wait to be in kindergarten. Sitting on the edge of her seat, she asked, "Because then I'll do real spelling and grammar in the books like Isaac does, won't I?" This from the same girl who was crying because she "wants to do math like Isaac!" Needless to say, she now has a new math workbook and she does pages and pages every day! I love these eager little learners!

 posing with their new haircuts