summer fun

The end of August always has everyone wondering, "Where did summer go?" It's especially appropriate this year because it has been ridiculously cool all season. We went to the beach twice and only once was it comfortable to go in the water. But, that's meant many days of biking to the park, playing in the backyard, and digging in the empty lot without having to run in to the air conditioning to cool off. It's also meant we've only run our AC about 10 times. Three cheers for saving money! My three do not handle heat well, so it's been great for them.

Lately we've really been taking advantage of the lazy days of summer as we realize that fall, and the busier schedule that comes with it, is right around the corner. We have Isaac and Audrey's dance open house tonight, we already attended the open house for Isaac's homeschool co-op, fall piano schedule starts after Labor Day, and we'll begin our consistent homeschooling schedule. I'm in the final stages of gathering resources together and planning out our first few weeks. The act of homeschooling in and of itself is not hard for me, but the intense amount of planning it takes is a real pain. I blame the internet. There is way too much information. Oh, and we have dial-up. Three boos for saving money. But, it works and we're cheap! There is always new information right one click away, so I just have to go with it and follow my kids' leads. They'll let me know if it's too much too soon, if I'm not challenging them enough, or if they just need to get outside and run a bit before we move on. The beauty of kids is that subtlety is not their strong suit; they will let a person know what they need in no uncertain terms. We just have to make sure we're listening. I'm so excited to learn with my children this year and work with them, watching their eyes widen as they make new discoveries, watching the gears turn as they expand on old knowledge. It is such a joy and honor to be a part of their learning, whether it's in a planned lesson or watching as Audrey finds different shapes in nature as we're triking home from the park. I'm sure I learn as much or more from them, their frank observations, their deep questions, and their never-ending curiosity as they'll ever learn from me. Just one more thing I love about those three kiddos of mine. Just in case you ever wonder.

The scooter has landed!

We've unequivocally answered one of Isaac's wonders and it hasn't led to any new wonderings on the topic. That is rare, indeed! He wondered when we'd finally get him his scooter that we said he could get once he learned to ride a bike with no training wheels. (That happened in March) Well, Isaac is thrilled to announce the purchase of his spankin' new scooter. He is so excited and wants to take it near and far, from the mailbox to the park. He's already zooming quite quickly, taking some tumbles, and showing it to anyone who acts mildly interested. He's a happy camper!

Elliot turned the big 14 months today. Seriously, can someone please tell me how that happens? Didn't he just turn 1 yesterday? Jim got home early today and the bigger kids were having a late rest so Elliot and I had a date to the park. It was so fun to have that time alone with him. I could give him my undivided attention, which both of us really enjoyed. His personality is so boisterous and his belly laugh is music to my soul. He just couldn't stop laughing as he climbed through the tunnel or when I helped him zoom down the slide, which he calls a "wheee!" A former fan of the swings, he can no longer be bothered because there is climbing to be done. He got a little scared by a very large and active grasshopper, but then I taught him the word "hop" while I jumped and he thought it was hilarious. He started saying "hop" while bouncing up and down. He's a quick study! Wonder where he gets that?!

I wonder what could be sweeter than a girl with her tea set. It's so sweet to watch her set it up, sorting all of the pieces by color, and carefully pouring the tea before handing it out. She takes it so seriously and looks so darn cute. One of Isaac's friends from dance came over today so they played tea party, played on the climber, and checked out our garden. Audrey loves picking the veggies, cleaning them off with the hose, and having a little garden snack. How many 3 year olds would chomp on a raw zucchini fresh from the garden?

Hey guys, wait for me!

Elliot wants to be big. You may ask, in what alternate dimension is a 26+ pound 13-month-old not big? Well, you see, Elliot has a big sister and a big brother so being big is always on his mind. He wants to climb like them, but, strangely, isn't all that interested in walking like them. He wants to swim like them, complete with trying to make monkey cheeks and bending toward the water. He wants to play trucks like them, roll balls like them, swing high like them. And to watch this boy at meals is hilarious. Clearly he hasn't missed many meals in his life, but he sits in that high chair and scopes out every single person's plate to make sure that he has everything that we have. And Lord help us if we have something that he doesn't have. The tears start a-rolling down those gorgeously plump cheekers as though he might just waste away to nothing before our very eyes. Which is clearly not going to happen unless we lose him in a forest for about 3 months.
But, as big as he is (or thinks he is), so much of him is still baby. He's a milk machine, tenderly cuddles up as only babies have time to do, looks at his parents as though we're the most amazing people in the universe since he hasn't needed to be disciplined yet and therefore has no reason to think we'll ever make him mad, and has the sweet little roly poly legs that can only mean he hasn't thinned out from walking yet. And, newsflash, Elliot, one day you'll grow taller than me, you won't fit in my lap, I'll have to rest my head on your shoulder, but you'll always be my baby. Just in case you ever wonder.

mama musings

I wonder if my kids know how much I love them, how blessed I am to be in their lives, how thrilled I am to have married a man who isn't bothered by a tight budget, a non-existent travel fund, and Redbox movie date nights because one salary means I get to stay home with our kids and experience the ins and outs of daily life with them.


I wonder if Audrey knows the joy I get in baking with her. Seeing her brown puppy apron covered in flour, watching her dust her nose with sugar as she pushes the hair out of her eyes, listening as she again tells me she can do it herself and then asks for help at the last minute. She impatiently waits for the timer to go off so she can have "just a little sample." There are times I have to remind myself that the mess is easily cleaned and the memories are worth any extra sweeping that comes with Audrey/mama baking sessions. I wonder if she knows how fun it is to simply converse with her. Her hands and arms fly this way and that as she makes her many and complicated points. They convey just as much meaning as her words. And then you add her facial expressions and the way her brown eyes light up and widen with delight, or darken and furrow with intensity, or shed big, easy tears with sadness and I realize that talking with her is like watching a one-person play. She is so full of ideas and life and expressions that something as simple as a conversation becomes entertainment.


I wonder if Isaac understands the joy I get in reading with him. He still excitedly folds his too-long legs up and crawls into my shrinking lap to cuddle into just the right position to see what will happen in today's chapter. He asks intelligent questions, makes interesting observations, and hangs on the edge of every word, always asking if we can't read just a little bit more. The answer is usually no because I know he'd ask the same question at the end of every chapter until the book was finished, but we do look ahead to preview the title of the next chapter and see if there are any illustrations. I'm sure his reading hour is then spent imagining what will happen next and putting words to the illustration. I wonder if he knows how much I relish his bedtime routine and the chance we have each night to reflect on our days, snuggle, sing some lullabies, and just relax with each other. My sweet five and a half year old always makes room for me and asks if I can snuggle until the first song is over. I'll take him up on that as long as the offer stands!



I wonder if Elliot senses my unconditional love for him as we slow dance in the kitchen to "our song." He rests his head on my shoulder as soon as the song comes on and calmly sways with me. I sing the words gently in his ear, hoping he understands that when I sing "Where is love? love is holding, love is holding you tonight." that I mean it with every fiber of my being and there is no place I'd rather be than holding him, helping him to feel secure in this big world, giving him a safe place to return to when he's crawled a bit too far away or taken a tumble while standing up. That when I sing, "And angels hover over you and Jesus loves you as you are and he will cover over you long after you leave my arms" my heart breaks a little because I ache just thinking about the day that he won't fit into my arms or joyously squeal at the very sight of me. But I am also filled with joy because I know that my love for him, immense as it is, fails in comparison to the way that God will care for and protect him. That I will never, ever hear that song without crying because it epitomizes my love for him, my prayer that he leans on God always, and senses God's love in my daily actions.


This time with my children is a gift that I get to unwrap each and every day. What the package contains is a surprise every day. Teething crabbiness keeping everyone on edge? Sunny skies leading to long bike rides and relaxed park days? Thunderstorms at night keeping us awake and making the next day slow, filled with art projects, baking, and lots of good books? No matter because there is no place on earth I'd rather be. Just in case you ever wonder.

Weekend wonderings

It's a beautiful weekend here and Jim is home, so life is great! Yesterday we got Jim around 1:30 and headed right to the zoo. Grizzly bears and the farm were fan favorites. We ran a few errands this morning, but spent all afternoon biking, playing at the park, grilling, playing ball, and thoroughly enjoying our time together. The kids squeezed in enough time to watch our neighbor mow the lawn on his riding mower because that is big news at our house. Strange, I know, but we're easily amused here!

Here's what's on our mind.

Isaac, giddy with excitement that his dada is FINALLY back home, wonders what would happen if Jim's work wanted him to work on February 11. Jim reassured him that if work asked him to be away then, he would tell them he couldn't because that date is too important to him. Isaac felt so special. Isaac used to say he was going to work at the C shop when he grows up, but now he decided he's going to make factories here so that Jim doesn't have to go anywhere to do training anymore. So sweet!

So serious and contemplative. Isaac rests as we take the wagon ride back from the zoo farm.

Audrey wonders why it took her so long to get over her fear of big slides. Who can blame her, though? Not many kids have to deal with breaking a leg doing something as fun as sliding. Ever since she broke her leg in April 2008, she's either skipped the sliding altogether or picked the short slides so we could reach her hand to hold it as she went down. In the past few weeks she's gone on slightly bigger slides, but today her bravery took hold and she went on a huge, fast slide. First she went down with Jim about six times to get the hang of it, but then she really went for it. She zoomed down, eyes wide with just the right amount of fright to make it really fun, hair sticking up from static, legs bouncing every which way, squealing with pride at her new trick. She was so happy and proud and excited. We couldn't help but feel all of the same things.

Puddle jumping fun for Audrey. Her smile says it all!Who says you have to stay inside on rainy days?

Elliot wonders why in the world we kept this climbing thing to ourselves for so long. He has officially entered the stage where I cannot be more than an arm's reach away from him at the park because he is climbing and motoring all over the place. He used to love going back and forth in the tunnels causing traffic jams for all of the other kids, but now he's here and there and everywhere. Makes life interesting when Isaac wants me to watch him cross the monkey bars and Audrey has to show me how she learned to zoom down the big curvy slide all by herself. Elliot also goes to the bottom of the gated steps saying, "up. up. up." in a very pathetic voice as he rattles the gate. I guess he thinks he's in his own version of non-climbing jail. He's less than amused when we pick him up and carry him away, but he's nowhere near ready to travel solo just yet. And I'm just fine with that!

Elliot plays a rousing game of "How big is Elliot? SOOOO big!"

Life's a party! Dress accordingly.

Audrey wonders why she was the only one wearing a black velvet party dress while biking to feed the ducks on an 85 degree day. To Audrey, every day is a party and she has just the outfit for the festivities!

She also wonders who decided that striped shorts don't match polka dot leggings. Or that it has to be your birth month, much less your birthday to wear a birthday girl t-shirt. As I look around at the other little kids in both color- and pattern-coordinated outfits, I wonder if I'm the only one crazy enough to let my kids pick out their own clothes. Ah yes, my walking fashion statements! Just the other morning Audrey was sitting on the toilet when, appropos of nothing, she blurts out, "I think I need some more clothes." I said, "Oh, are you cold?" thinking she meant she needed more clothes on her body at that moment. Nope, she just decided her overflowing walk-in closet and dresser didn't house enough adorable clothing for my little 3-year-old.

Finally, remember that joys of siblings post? How's this for the sweetest thing you ever did see?

Elliot's firsts

The early bird gets the worm certainly applies in our home. When you wake up at the crack of dawn (5-ish most days, but today the glorious time of 6:06, although you were just up at 4:20)major things are accomplished by 9:30 am. Here are the big moments of Elliot's morning. As you can see, he was a busy guy!

1-Went poop in the toilet. Guess he's wondering why we made such a big deal of it when Audrey learned at 14 months.


2-Pulled up on the couch in order to reach one of his favorite books. I turned around to see him standing there reading. It was just precious. I'll have to post that picture once I get it on the computer. The picture below is him pulling up on smaller objects last week. Sorry, I haven't figured out how to turn them, but you get the idea. This boy is gearing up for some major moving! Still no cruising, but he's realized there is a whole big world above the floor and he wants in on the action. Note the pointed toe-another dancer in the house! : )





3-Crawling up the stairs with the vigilant help of his handy spotter, mama. He giggled and squealed in excitement the entire way. He's so proud!

Then, this afternoon Elliot wondered why we have that pesky gate at the bottom of the stairs. Of course, it's been there for months, but today is the first day it's been an issue. When he discovered the reason, he was not a happy camper! You see, Elliot, we've been waiting for the day you realized how much fun climbing stairs truly is. Now we must prevent you from doing your really fantastic, exciting, brand-new party trick when your trusty spotter isn't on hand. I know, it's a big bummer that irritates you and makes you flop like a fish, but it's really for the best!

Here are a few of his latest words: hotsy totsy (when touching something hot), tickle tickle, water, picture, car, and book. He's working on Isaac and Elliot, but they're nearly indistinguishable.


Life with Elliot is full of exciting firsts as I watch my little man grow up so quickly. But really, is three firsts in one day really necessary? Either way, you are the sweetest cherry on top of our ice cream sundae family. Just in case you ever wonder.

Isaac wonders

Isaac wonders why more boys aren't walking around with blue sparkly flowers painted on their arms and wearing their sisters bright pink Dora sunglasses. But really, the beauty of it is that he doesn't wonder. He loves blue flowers, pink or black or green sunglasses, tackle football, trucks, ballet, basketball, lawnmowers, reading books, pesto, seafood, working in the garden, playing with babies, asking questions, playing with his sister and brother, spending time alone with grown-ups (so he can ask them lots of questions), going to plays, piano lessons, learning, painted toenails, laughing until his tummy hurts, helping grown-ups do jobs, especially if they involve tools, holding hands, riding bikes, giving hugs, and talking.

Me, I wonder how to help him stay sweet and undeterred by what boys are supposed to do or what color they're supposed to wear. I pray he fits in, but doesn't give up himself to please others. I pray he grows up following the path God planned for him rather than bending to the whims of others. I pray he knows how special he is, how talented he is, how very much he is loved, the lives he has changed simply by being our firstborn son and introducing us to an unending, unconditional, overwhelming parental love we never dreamed possible.

But what Isaac really wonders is when he'll get the scooter he's been talking about for eons, how high people could count if they had a million days and a million nights to count without going to sleep, why God gave people whining voices if they sound so annoying, when he will go to another water park, how long until he's 5 3/4, which bobcat is coming to work on the house across the pond and what kind of attachments it will use, how to pick the roots of boogers so his nose won't run anymore, how old he has to be before mowing the lawn by himself, why he can't touch the clouds when he swings, and if people can walk around on the earth as angels once they die. His mind is busy, his body is growing, his heart is enormous, his essence is pure. I love you, Isaac, million times two. Just in case you ever wonder.

Elliot wonders

Elliot spent many intense minutes wondering how in the world water comes out of the spout and what a baby had to do to catch it.

Me, I'm wondering if this kid could get any cuter! I keep guessing no, but he just keeps proving me wrong!

This kid's got spunk!

Have you ever met Audrey? I'm trying to think of adjectives that come close to describing her, but they all fail miserably. Joyful? Certainly. Exuberant? Definitely. Full of life. Contagiously goofy. Sweetness personified, with a side of sass. Charismatic, serious, empathetic, determined, generous, hilarious. That's a start. She loves the color brown, is learning not to squeal when she sees a bug, likes dirt, dresses, bikes, dolls, puppies, books, finding rocks, throwing balls, playing with her brothers, hosting tea parties, baking, eating, talking, baths, stomping sand castles, talking in bed before she falls asleep, and helping grown-ups with important jobs like unloading the silverware, cleaning up the table, and changing diapers. Not a day goes by that I am not struck by the magnitude of the gifts she brings to the world. There was a time when we didn't think we'd ever have kids. I look at her and think of how quiet and subdued my life would be without her and what the world would miss out on. We worried about bringing kids into such an uncertain, scary world. We finally decided that if everyone who believed in God and had unconditional love to share with their kids were too scared to have kids, the world would grow more horrible by the day. We hoped our kids would be part of the solution and looking at Audrey, I am more certain than ever that we made the right decision.

Audrey loves baths. A LOT. One day she was splashing and singing and enjoying herself to the utmost, because Audrey is all about enjoying life to the utmost. I remember looking at her thinking, "I get to be her mama for the rest of my life!" So much of my life is spent in the here and now as I consider feeding people, folding their clothes, driving to dance class, planning homeschool lessons, biking to the park, reading books, singing songs, that I hadn't really thought about all that the future holds for me and my daughter. Oh, how I love the sound of that. Me and my daughter. Right now we love getting the mail together, painting our toenails, making cookies, taking bike rides, picking zucchini, and swinging until her feet touch the sky. And while right here is more than I could ever pray or hope for, I know that the path ahead of us is filled with adventure, lessons, bumps, laughter, shoe shopping, volunteering, singing obnoxiously loudly in the car, heated discussions about appropriate attire, road trips, fort building, and dancing in the living room. There is so much to look forward to and I'm blessed beyond comprehension to have Audrey as my child, my beloved daughter. Sweet Audy-boo, I love you because you are who you are. Just in case you ever wonder.

Every mama has her limit!

Warning: This adorably sweet chubby muffin is wanted by the sleep police!

Apparently Elliot read yesterday's entry and decided to test the limits of my patience for rocking a baby to sleep. Well, we discovered my limit is 3:09 am to 4:58 am. Yes, that is how long Elliot was up last night. Not crying unless I had the audacity to put him in his crib where all babies should be at 3 - 5 in the morning, just chatting and playing with my hair and generally being a sweetie petie. Except for the fact that it was the middle of the night. So, my sweet Elliot, 3 am is sleepy time. Just in case you ever wonder!!!!

Rock a bye baby

Have you ever wondered what babies are feeling and thinking as they are gently rocked to sleep in their parent's arms? They hear a calm lullaby, hear the familiar words of a prayer, see the tender smile on mama or dada's lips. Sadly, or maybe gladly, I have plenty of time to ponder this particular wonder. Elliot is great at lots of things-sucking on his toes, breaking hearts with his dimples, eating, and talking to name a few, but a great self-soother he is not. I know, I know, it's my fault. I should have put him down more when he was a baby. I should lay him down when he's drowsy and let him fuss a bit. So many things I should or could have done with Elliot are the same things I should or could have done with Isaac and Audrey. They were rocked to sleep for well over a year and are now go to sleep, stay asleep rock stars. In fact, Audrey can sleep through siding being nailed to our house no more than 6 inches from her sleeping head. If we ask her if she heard something loud that happened during nap or overnight she looks at us blankly and simply says, "My eyes were closed." Like that explains everything. But, I digress.

Yes, I rock Elliot to sleep and he wakes up once or twice at night and I rock and feed him back to sleep again and sometimes I am really tired of it because I'm just plain really tired. But then I look at my 3 and 5 year old and I am smacked with the sad realization that someday, most likely in the few blinks of an eye, this will be a distant memory. I'll be well-rested and I won't have bags under my eyes and I'll have time to shower every single morning. Maybe even blow dry my hair. GASP! But my hip will have forgotten what it feels like to have a smiling baby attached to it and my arms won't have nearly as much practice snuggling my kiddos and my cheeks won't get open mouthed slobbery kisses. So, tonight I sang to my baby the same lullabies I have sung to him every night for 13+ months. I smiled at him as the evening sun shone through the sides of the blinds. I prayed with him and for him and for all the babies in the world who aren't rocked before bedtime, who don't know what a lullaby sounds like, who haven't looked into their parents eyes and seen unending love. I did those things so he could hear my love and see my contentment and hopefully know he is a huge reason that my heart is full and my mind rests easily. His presence, the breaths he takes, the light he shines are gifts God gives me every day. Just in case you ever wonder.

The joys of siblings. . . no, really!

Do you have a sibling, parent siblings, or even know siblings? Well, if you answered yes to any of these questions, you know that siblings have special abilities. First, they were born with specific instructions on how to irritate the be-jesus out of their sibling. And, if they're the first born, they get their own special instructions once their little brother or sister is born. Of course, I could write a small book about the times they bug each other, but today I'll dwell a bit on the second gift. Siblings know just how to help each other, end each other's sentences, explain what happened when one is crying too hard to utter a word, laugh until their tummy hurts just because the other one has the giggles, enter into an imaginary land made just for them, find a favorite book when the other is too tired to look, help clean up a spill that seems much too big for one person to handle, hold hands when the way is uncertain, walk through life together when it's too scary to walk alone.

I remember anticipating Audrey's birth and wondering, as many second-time mothers do, how I could have enough love for both of them. Then she was born, and not only did I love her with the same depth and intensity as I loved Isaac, but I found that I loved him even more and for a whole new set of reasons. The way he would adjust her car seat shade so she could see all the cars and trucks he was telling her about. The way he would run to her when she cried. And, don't you know, it happened again when Elliot was born. This time I didn't wonder if I had enough love, but I was again surprised at the way my love for my other children intensified and grew. Isaac taught him to clap and plays Scary shark with him every morning while I brush Audrey's teeth. Audrey is always good for a rousing rendition of twinkle twinkle little star if he seems sad and loves to give him her tremendous hugs. And Elliot makes them smile and reduces them to giggles just by saying what they say or copying their actions.

Today Audrey finished nature camp and was sent home with a new t-shirt, a ball of playdough, and an egg shaker. She held on to all of her new things very tightly because with siblings you have to hold on tight. Once something new hits the floor, it's sure to be gobbled up by another kid sharing your last name! So, she's all buckled into her carseat, Isaac's in the middle, and Elliot starts crying. Immediately Audrey says, "Isaac, can you hand this egg to Elliot? He's sad." Isaac did the hand off and Elliot immediately got to shaking it as he rocked out in his carseat. It was so very sweet and a moment I want us all to remember. We'll put it in our back pocket for those times when someone pushes someone or has the audacity to get in the car first when everyone knows I always get in first or he takes the granola bar she wanted or. . . well, the list could go on, but I know our egg shaker moments will outshine our "but he pushed me" moments. Because, as the sign in our kitchen says, "Love is spoken here" and my three kids speak love in pure, giving, beautiful ways. Just in case you ever wonder.

"mama" and my brown-eyed girl

Have you ever heard a sweeter word than your own baby saying, "mama?" It's not just the word, but the look in their eyes as they gaze up and the special tone of voice they use just for mama. Not puppy or eat or bath or even dada, although he ranks right up there. Little man E says mama and it drips with love and adoration and the confidence that I will fix whatever ails him. He falls, I pick him up, kiss him, sing him a little song and all is well again. He's hungry, I feed him. He's sleepy, I snuggle him and put him to bed. He sees a new person smiling and waving at him and he looks to me to make sure it's okay before he smiles back. It's so simple these days. Why can't it always be so simple? Why must a day come when the owie is someone hurting his feelings, rejecting him, making him feel less than, being the first person to show him a glimpse of the pain that inevitably comes? Why must a day come when my help just doesn't cut it? I know those days will come much too quickly, so for now I'll be the one to fix the ouches with a kiss, a snuggle, and a good book so that he knows he can come to me when the pain is more substantial. Even then, especially then, I'll help however I can. Just in case you ever wonder.

Today I had the rare chance to sneak up on Audy-boo as nature camp was finishing up to watch her interact with the teachers and other kids without her knowledge. Yesterday was her first morning of camp and her first class ever, so it was a big step. She's a big 3 year old now, so she was all set to go as we drove there. "I don't really even need you to walk me up there. You can just drop me off and you can just go," she said in the deep voice she saves for very serious moments. I told her that would be fine, all the while knowing she would change her tune shortly, but I can let a girl dream, can't I? So, we walk in and she decides my leg is a great anchor. "Will you stay with me a little bit?" Most certainly. I got her situated and left about 20 minutes later. She did great, had fun, and even made eye contact and spoke to the teacher after a while. So, today I got there and was thrilled to see that the little girl that I know also showed up at nature camp. You see, there are kind of two Audreys. One VERY talkative, engaging, hilarious, spirited girl for her family and close friends and another quiet, don't look at me, legs are good anchors girl seen by strangers and anyone in a new setting. To watch her chat so animatedly about the books and use her manners to ask for more lemonade was just precious. But the best was when she realized we were there. She turned to look at another noise in the room and saw me. Her eyes lit up like big brown fireworks, her mouth formed an O in recognition and excitement, and she waved a full body wiggle wave. Then she turned back to her activities. For a few brief hours, she had someone new to answer her wonders. And although my ears may get tired and my mind runs out of responses at times, I was happy to get my girl wonder back at 11:30. Her hugs are the very tightest, her love the very purest. My audy-boo is the very sweetest. Just in case you ever wonder.

Here we go

So, a few blinks of an eye ago, but really 5 1/2 years ago, a baby was born. I had this incredibly bright idea. . .I'll send a monthly update about him and regale family and friends with his gorgeousness, intelligence, kindness, and hilarity. Then came a little sister. Then came a little brother. I kept going with the updates and tried to keep up with journals for each of them. But, a mama gets tired and there is a boat load of laundry to be done. So, Mr. I and Ms. A's journals have fallen off in the past years and I'm a bit behind on little man E although I faithfully jot notes on his calendar for the night I will sit and forget about said piles of laundry long enough to catch up. So, I'll try this. I'll still do a monthly update for myself, but so much goes on day in and day out that I want to remember and want my kids to know about.

And I'll call it the Wonder Years because we do a whole lot of wondering in this house. I wonder how my life is so blessed with little people, how my kids got so big and how I can possibly show them all the love I have for them or even try to explain how much God loves them. But really, I wonder how in the world my kids can wonder about so many things. They are the masters of wondering, asking, asking again, reiterating their asking, making sure I don't hesitate before answering their asking. Do you follow me here? So, while we're here wondering, I'll share some tidbits with you so that someday when I'm old and gray, compared to now when I'm just gray, I'll look back at this time and remember this crazy journey of parenting with my main squeeze and best friend for what it is. . . the 8th wonder of the world. : )

Will I remember watching Mr. I try to jump over a big hole made by eroding soil? He had watched the big kids do it as he covertly stood behind the playground. I watched him watch them with his usual, "I'm totally interested and 100% committed to watching you, but I'll ignore you with all of my being if you make eye contact" stance. But the minute they left the scene, he ran towards the hole with his sweet left-over from babyhood carefulness. He ran at it a few times and stopped. He ran a few more times and walked in. But finally, the moment I knew would happen even as I watched him watch them. He ran, arms pumping, legs flailing, head back, blonde hair flapping. He made it about 1/3 of the way across and came back for more. And more. And more. I love this boy for his tenacity. He doesn't get frustrated. He doesn't give up. If he wants it, he'll keep trying even if he falls in the hole every single time. Which he did. "Mama, do you think that was my longest jump yet?" Yes, sweet boy, it was. As I watched him literally run away from me to leap over this hole, I thought of all the figurative ways he's moving away from me. He's 5 1/2 today. He goes to day camps with a tight hug and a glance back. He'll start his homeschool co-op as a kindergartener soon. He is growing up. And I wonder how the heck I let him do that. But, of course, it's nothing I let him do. It is just what is happening, should happen, must happen and I let our relationship evolve as it has evolved from the moment they put that slippery little fellow on my chest 5 1/2 years ago. Oh, sweet bug, how I love you! Just in case you ever wonder.