adding insult to injury OR making memories out of April snowflakes

 The week before Easter we woke up to this lovely sight. And while I meant "lovely" with quotation marks and sarcasm, it really was just plain lovely, too. We stared out of the window for a while, equal parts impressed and horrified by the beauty/coldness of the land before us.

Elliot was just happy for another chance to eat snow. This boy loves him some snow!

 Then we did what any good Northerner would do. We pushed and pulled and cajoled our ready for spring bodies into our expectantly waiting snow gear, still handy in the closet since mama's no fool and doesn't pack it away until at least mid-May.

 It really was gorgeous. And chilly.

 Audrey made sure she squeezed in one last (we hope) snow angel!

 One family walk complete with hockey stick.
The snow melted quickly. The sun came out again, although it did take a few days. I dare say we enjoyed our late-April burst of snow.

Then we headed in and enjoyed our last (we hope) hot cocoa of the season, brimming with marshmallows and the perfect cure for a chilly spring (?) day.

Easter weekend in MI

We took an Easter jaunt to MI last week and had a wonderful time. The kids did well in the car and the trip was so worth it. We look forward to our visits and then they seem to fly by so we are already looking forward to the next visit. We are blessed with such an amazing extended family!

the girls are concentrating on a word search

dyeing Easter eggs

Easter egg hunt

she's excited! I wonder what she found!

the older the kid, the trickier the hiding spot

cousin love!

he loved hunting for his orange eggs

Thanks for a great weekend! We miss you already!

so handsome. growing so quickly.

Lamenting the passage of time is a waste of the very thing we want more of. I know this to be true. But seriously, what am I to do with all of the growing around this house?

 I search his face, scrutinize his hands, hoping for a hint of the baby I knew. I see a familiar expression here, a rub of the ear there, and it is enough of a hint to let me know this boy standing before me is the very same boy I knew and loved and stared in awe of those seven years ago. He has just stretched and grown and matured and done what boys have been doing since boys were invented. I know this to be true, too.

 But it feels like a first for me, watching this infant become a baby become a toddler become a boy become a young man. And he's incredible and stubborn and has good days and bad moments. But he's my oldest son and he's so handsome and he's growing so quickly. And sometimes a mama gets to lament. Just in case you ever wonder.

Sometimes

Sometimes there is only hope. When there is war in Libya and across the kitchen table. When there is destruction in Haiti and in our hearts. When there is unrest in Nicaragua and in our relationships. When there is uncertainty in the job market and in our faith. When there is winter in our front yard and in the fabric of our lives.

When winter seems to go on and on and spring feels far away. When darkness settles into our bones even as the spring sun gathers strength. When laughter sounds foreign and silence is the company we choose to keep. There is only hope. And we cling to it, living in the belief that He who rose from the dead will also raise us up from the pain and sadness that surrounds us and encircles us and overwhelms us. Sometimes there is only hope.

That, my friends, is a good nap!

 Foot arranged just so.

 So cozy.

You know it's a good nap when there is drool involved!

two simple sentences . . .

parents never want to hear when their three children are playing downstairs without adult supervision.
"Do it again. (laugh, gasp for air, laugh) That was fun!"

always thinking

The kids were coloring a picture of earth and Elliot was asking about the different continents. He pointed to North America and I told him, "That's North America. The united states is in North America so that's where we live." He moved south and pointed to South America so I told him, "That's South America." He looked up and me and asked, "Is there a West America?" These little minds never rest.

celebrating

"there is so little I know for certain except for maybe this: Motherhood is about raising--and celebrating--the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It's about understanding that he is exactly the person he is supposed to be."
                                                    Joan Ryan, author of The Water Giver

We planted a tree when we first moved into our house. We dug a proper-sized hole, plopped it in, gently of course, and followed the watering instructions. We cared for the tree as instructed by the nursery. It is growing well, but it had a few errant branches, too low, poking at an awkward angle, making the tree more likely to crack in a storm, weakening it to the stresses of life as a tree. This winter, certain that the tree was dormant, we sawed off the two lowest branches. It is stronger and more beautiful now.

It reminds me of parenting. Before having chidlren, we read parenting books, did everything right to ensure healthy pregnancies, and have been blessed with three healthy, vibrant children. I know many people who did everything "right" and weren't so fortunate, so we are aware of the magnitude of these blessings running around our trampled yard, using our shirts as their personal Kleenexes, and making cleaning seem like an utter and futile waste of time.

In spite of that understanding, many mothers, myself included, carry a lot of guilt. If their kid doesn't know the right answer in math or draw the nicest picture or potty train at a certain time, it must reflect on us, right? If they stomp their feet at a seemingly simple request or roll their eyes or step on the teeny tiny daisies trying their darndest to push up through the spring soil, we must have done something wrong. We're either too lenient or too harsh. She lets her kid get away with anything. She has so many rules, it's no wonder they rebelled. Every decision feels important, like it has a stake in our kid's future.

But, that's just it. It's my kid's future. Not mine. Some kids just get numbers. Others have to work like crazy at math and it still frustrates them. Some kids sit for hours on end drawing beautiful picture after beautiful picture. Others are happy with a stick figure holding a flower. Some kids essentially potty train themselves. Others just prefer their diapers, even as they ask to be excused from the table so they can go potty in their diaper in the living room.

I have nurtured, and will continue to nurture, these children with the best of me. (On most days) We learn together, wonder together, question together, sing, dance, run, read, stumble together. Like that tree we planted, I have given them the start they need for a healthy life. I do not know which way their branches will grow. I do not know where they will stumble. I do not know the paths they will choose.

I only know that, no matter how they grow and what trips them up and which path they choose, I will be here. When they fall and when they celebrate. When they cry in pain and when they shout for joy. When they sing praises and when they feel defeated. And every day I will try to remember the poignant words I read at the end of Joan Ryan's beautiful book. I will celebrate the children I have. On their defiant days when every request feels as heavy as Sisyphus' boulder. On their happy days when laughter is the soundtrack to our day. On their tired days when tears come easy and my arms seem to be the only cure. On their celebratory days when the world opens to them with all the possibility of a blank journal.

I can only be their mama, on their side, sharing this beautiful world, this awesome God, this crazy journey with them. It is their life. I'm just blessed to be along for the ride. In case you ever wonder.

spring has sprung in the land of Audrey

 Tea party invitations are out.

Parks are visited. Flip-flops (or flippies if you're Audrey) are mainstays. Frogs have been chased and touched. Swings have been swung, and fallen off of. Ice cream is requested often. Bike rides and runs to the park are common. Brothers llike to play monster around the house. Neighbor girls visit again after a winter of hibernation.  She's one happy girl!

Mr. big stuff

That's Elliot triking. Really triking. As in one foot on each pedal and moving them in a circular motion bending at the knees using the strength of his legs. This is big news.

After playing outside almost all day yesterday, we were all working on a poster for church last night. Elliot sat back in his chair with a huff and said, "Uh. I'm exhausted, mama. That means REALLY tired!"(except it sounded like eh-zausted) He followed that little vocabulary lesson with this. "Mama, can I take my socks off. My toes are exhausted. That means they're hot and stuffy."

good times

Isaac has been rarin' to do another 5K, so we signed up for Goldy's Run. It's a 5K that traverses the U of M campus, which is pretty exciting in and of itself, but the excitement does not stop there! The race ends at the 50 yard line of TCF Bank stadium, where the Gophers play, and our faces were displayed on the jumbo-tron. Granted, we didn't actually see ourselves, but that was fine and Isaac more than made up for it for racing to the end zone, pretending to score a touchdown, and flopping on his back with arms raised. It was a stupendous site! 

We've been training since the snow melted and it became warmer than our freezer. So, not very long, but he was ready for race day. Goals: no walking and run it in 32 minutes. Mission accomplished on both fronts!

outside the stadium before the race

 It was so fun to run with him. He kept asking if I was getting tired and I told him I wasn't since my legs are so much longer, but that it was more fun to run with an awesome running partner like my 7 year old son than to try to get my fastest time. He smiled a big-kid-toothed smile and agreed wholeheartedly. We discovered we can go faster next time because he kicked it into overdrive at the end and was burning past many grown-ups on the home stretch. He asked, "I wonder why all of these people are slowing down at the end. Didn't they save some to kick it?" Of course, not everyone has the energy of a 7 year old!

Audrey and Elliot had a blast waiting and played around on the field, bounced in the jump house, and generally reveled in the merriment of the morning.

Elliot loves him some Goldy the Gopher. In case you weren't sure!

camped out on the 2-get it, he's 2

posing on the 4 since she's 4

being really goofy

playing qb long bomb after the race.

holding her own on the long bomb

Next stop breakfast, then to the library, then home to rest before an afternoon spent playing outside. It was a delightful Saturday in spring!

just now

I was chopping Audrey's waffle when Elliot said, "mama, I'm happy." "Why," I asked. "Because we have books to read. And food to eat. And God." Two-year-old wisdom is pretty deep.

turning the corner

Winter. A season of silence and monotony and guarantee. I look out the front window at noon or dawn or mid-day or dusk, and I am certain to see a barren tree huddled under a frigid sky, no leaves or birds to soften the harsh outline of its bare skeleton. My walk to the mail box is certain to bring uninterrupted quiet as the birds have escaped for the winter and the snow has muffled every little sound from the footsteps of the deer to the rumbling of the car wheels. Each drive to the grocery store means layers of warm woolens, a search for mittens, icy windows serving as the perfect canvas for fingernail art, and breath blown from puckered lips in long gusts of smoke. It is the same. Day in and day out. It is the same.

Spring. A season of promise and hints and yet-to-come. Every day brings new sights, from the pale shade of green warming the fuzzy caterpillar as it moseys down the driveway to the bold green of the newborn leaves bringing warmth and new life to each tree. Every raindrop beckons to the flowers hiding out under the fresh, fragrant soil, waiting for spring’s perfect concoction of rain, then sun, then just a tad more rain until it finally erupts with strength that defies gravity and fragility that bends to the whims of the wind. Each morning, the grass crunchy from the night’s chill, reminds us of the season we just left behind, but the bright sun and greening grass joyfully proclaim that spring is here. Once and for all, here. And where life used to look the same, there is now possibility and the whole world breathes in that fresh, spring scent and wonders, “what if?”


"humble gift" by marielliot

Elliot "counts"

Elliot has a newfound obsession with letters. All letters are great, but he is particularly enamored with the letters in his name. He finds there everywhere, loudly and proudly rattling them off. Then he wants me to clap loudly for him. Seriously. He says, "I count my letters and then will you clap loudly?" Then he flashes the dimples and my heart melts. Don't believe me? Watch for yourself!

spring musical

The spring musical at church was a smashing success. Isaac started the program with a bible verse. Audrey danced in her galoshes and rain coat. Isaac played Peter, a prisoner who broke free when the angel came. They sang and danced to their hearts' content. I'm sure the other kids did well, too. : ) Here's a little taste of it for those who couldn't make the performance. Pictures and video were taken at the dress rehearsal. Miss Elaine wasn't really shouting during the real performance!

he worked hard to memorize his bible verse and did a great job, slow, steady, and loud!

imprisoned by two soldiers.

doing the moves to one of her favorite songs

Audrey loved it so much that she asked the director for special permission to do the musical production camp this summer, even though the kids are supposed to have finished kindergarten. She is so excited and feels proud that she's big and mature enough. She plans on trying out for a solo and dance. Isaac loves the title, "The Amazing Grace Race," and says it makes him want to do drama.

We are blessed by a strong drama program at church and leaders who ensure that all children who try out for special parts get one that fits their abilities and interests. It was a wonderful Sunday of celebrating Jesus!

good news and bad news

Good news:
*It was 50 today.
*We played basketball and baseball. Isaac and I took a 2 mile run to get ready for our 5K next weekend. Audrey wanted to get in on the fun so I did my "warm up run" to the park and back with her.
*We opened our front windows.
*I even washed them. Inside and out.
*We took a 5-mile family bike ride to get ice cream for snack.
*We played at the park. Along with the regular teeter-tottering, swinging, sliding, racing, and climbing, we even used the last piles of snow for a warm weather snowball fight.

Bad news:
With all of this beautiful weather and the hours of playing outside, our children may never stop eating again. Isaac and Elliot were already in the midst of a growth spurt. Add the spring air, the miles of running and biking, and the hours of throwing and tossing and we really need to rethink our grocery budget. I think they'd be content sitting at the table all day waiting for the next healthy meal to come their way.

Good news:
*We have three healthy, active, thriving kids.
*We have the means and make the time to feed them healthy, tasty meals. (Many times each day!)
*They are healthy, adventurous eaters.

We're ready for spring. The galoshes are out and the fridge is full. One of these days I'll be brave enough to pack up the snowpants. : )