finally: a snowman

We've had a boatload of snow this winter. Perhaps even an ark-load. But, it's been that freezing, dry snow that refuses to hold together because it's too stinking cold. Finally, the last week of March brought a nice, wet snowstorm, just perfect for a snowman. So, that's just what we did. Well, Isaac was pretty busy shooting hoops or playing baseball, although he did take a few breaks to help out, and Elliot isn't a fan of getting snowy, but he's a great observer, but Audrey was all in.

As fun as it was to make the snowman, it was even more fun to hear all of the ways they thought it might come to life like Frosty. There was much anticipation and breath-holding as we placed the hat on his head. Then there was a little disappointment when nothing happened. Then there was brainstorming as they thought of ways they could make it magic. Maybe if we get a magic wand from the basement and say magic words to the hat. Or, maybe we have to stick the magic wand into the snowman's head and rest the hat on top. Or maybe he only dances while we're sleeping. So, maybe we should look out our window in the middle of the night.

The next morning they noticed his hat fell off.
They noticed it again the next morning. Then Audrey commented on the fact that it hadn't been windy, so maybe his magic was taking his hat off in the night.

Searching for magic everywhere. That's my Audrey!

a front row seat to Elliot's justifiable confusion

We were having snack on Tuesday when Elliot nonchalantly and very sweetly mentioned that when he's bigger he wants babies in his tummy. Audrey jumped on that tidbit of misinformation and informed him that only girls can have babies in their tummies. Elliot, his soul just bursting with sweetness and future parental love, started to cry. "Mama. (tear. tear. sniff. sniff.) Audrey says only girls can have babies in their tummies."

exploring and climbing on a snowy walk

This is a fun conversation to have with small children. Exactly what do they know? And, more to the point, what exactly do they want to know? We've read many books about animals turning from eggs into snakes or eggs into frogs or eggs into whatever. Some mention the word mating, others don't. They know enough about childbirth to satisfy their curiosity and they know the real words for the main reproductive parts.

So, keeping their background in mind, we entered this interesting discussion. Since we'd recently read "From Egg to Snake," I told him that all women and girls, even Audrey, have eggs in their bodies and that babies grow from eggs, so only women can have babies in their tummies. Boys and men don't have eggs, so they can't have babies in their tummies.

He assured me he didn't need a stroller, but his little legs were
 very tired after a long walk with no stroller.
He's getting so big!

Isaac jumped on that tidbit of misinformation to remind us of the male frogs in the Potomac river that were found to have eggs in their bodies due to increased levels of chemicals released from the plastic bottles and trash that people throw into the water. Elliot looked slightly hopeful knowing males could have eggs, but I had to let him know that wasn't healthy and they still couldn't have babies. They were still males so they had penises, but some eggs accidentally grew there from too much pollution.

See how confusing this gets? Elliot was now back to disappointment. I assured him he could be a dada and love and hold and tickle and feed his babies, but that babies couldn't grow in his tummy. He seemed OK with that.

Until the next morning. I slept in a bit and Jim made eggs. I came down and was getting stuff together to go see the Tut exhibit at the Science Museum. Little did I know that Elliot's brain had been working in overdrive all morning, perhaps all night.

"Maybe when I have eggs in my tummy, I'll have food eggs. Do they have to be raw eggs to grow to babies?"

UGH!

working together at the science museum

we've come a long way, baby

We were driving today and Isaac asked why in history, like in ancient Rome, women weren't allowed to vote or go to school. I reminded him about slavery and told him that just like there was a time in our country when people who weren't white were slaves, there was also a time when women, no matter what color they were, couldn't vote. He was disgusted. He did a big, "aaaaach! That does not make ANY sense!" This is a boy who hopes his sister is the first female quarterback in the NFL and tells her she can go to Stanford even though it's a really tough school because she's really smart.

This led to many other topics, but I was struck by the conversation. I love that he cannot fathom a time when people were judged on gender or race. I know that he will see and hear many instances of injustice in his life, but I hope that he will always act on behalf of kindness, fairness, love, and freedom.

nicknames

When Elliot was but a wee babe I called him Elliot Belliot woo woo. I still call him that periodically, but Jim and Isaac have shortened it to things like Elly Belly or Elly or Belly Belly. That used to be fine with Elliot. It is no longer fine. If people call him anything but Elliot, he responds with a very stern, "NO!" Sometimes a "No. My name is Elliot."

Yesterday Isaac accidentally called him Belly and, boy, did he hear about it. Audrey and Isaac tried to think of a new nickname he might like, but he just repeated he didn't have a nickname. Audrey thought they could call him Elliot sometimes, but "nickname Elliot" when they wanted to call him a nickname. Elliot thought that was a bad idea!

So, they went around the car deciding on new nicknames because Isaac wanted a cooler nickname and wonders how Tiger Woods got the cool nickname Tiger. I asked him what nickname he'd like to have. He came up with Puma. Audrey decided on Dog. But Elliot still wanted nothing to do with it. Then Audrey said, "How about Orange?" (It's his favorite color.) "Yeah. My nickname is Orange."

orange

puma

dog

Then this crazy conversation ensued.
Isaac: "Dog?"
Audrey: "What?"
I: "I love you, Dog."
A: "I love you, too, Puma."

A: "Orange?"
E: "What?"
A: "I love you, Orange."
I: whispers, "tell her you love her, too, Dog."
E: "I love you, too, Dog."

And so on and so forth. Silly kids full of love!

dance party u.s.a.

We like to get our groove on here at our casa. We'll put our dancing shoes away for a while, but then one of us thinks of a fun song or we have the ipod randomly playing and the mood will strike us. Oftentimes the kids are still wearing their pajamas. Always it is hilarious. In this particular video, we're pretty sure Isaac was going for "The Sprinkler." (better luck next time!)  And they spent all morning perfecting that one-two kick thing. Good fun!

cousins

We had a cousin sleepover a few weekends ago. Great fun was had by all, as usual. We are so blessed by loving, fun families on both sides!

making beautiful "music" together

Jim's back may never be the same

the snow melted and ice formed turning our sledding hill into a snowpants hill

audrey slides down the mountains left behind by snowplows

isaac's turn to go snowpants-ing

another horse

audrey video!

Prepare to be shocked and astounded at Audrey's reading! Not that I'm biased or anything!

he cried

Isaac and I volunteered at Feed My Starving Children this afternoon. It really is a wonderful organization, sending meals to malnourished and starving children in 66 countries. It impacted Isaac very strongly. He is an empathetic and sensitive soul, always thinking of ways to help people, and this was no different.

selling snacks with his sunday school for the Kids ministry in Costa Rica

They show a video about the people who receive the meals and the ways their lives can be changed. They share statistics about hunger and starvation, especially as it relates to children. They show pictures of babies and children who look close to death. He learned about Toussaint who, at 14 months, weighed 7 pounds and was literally at death's door. He is now healthy and well after receiving the high protein meals provided by FMSC.

He heard about a teenage girl in Haiti who walked down from the mountains because she was starving and thought someone could help her. She came to a distribution area and they began to feed her, assuming she would get well. She ate every day, but was not improving. The doctors did a full check-up and could see nothing that would prevent her from getting better and growing stronger. Finally, to save her life, they did an exploratory surgery and found 8 pounds, 8 POUNDS, of pebbles in her stomach. Sometimes she would be so hungry and in so much pain that she would scoop up a few rocks and swallow them to get something in her stomach. They had calcified in her stomach and made it impossible for her to get any nutrients. The surgeons were able to remove the rocks. It still makes me sick to write they had to remove rocks from a girl's stomach. But, they removed the rocks and she is now on her way back to health.

He learned at 18,000 children die every day from starvation or hunger-related disease. And he cried. And he leaned over to me and whispered, "I'm really sad."

I assured him that I was, too, and that we came here because it is sad and it's important that we help as much as we can. That just like we share our toys, we have to share our time and our money and our blessings. That we were helping our neighbors all over the world just like the Good Samaritan, a bible story we read before coming. We were doing the only thing we can do. Help.

He had fun scooping dehydrated veggies into the bags and labeling bags and stacking them into boxes just so. He felt strong and filled with purpose while working with our team of 25 to fill 25 boxes of food to be shipped out tomorrow. Twenty-five boxes means 5,400 meals which means that 15 kids will get one meal each day for the next year. It doesn't sound like much, but it is possible it will be the difference between life and death. And Isaac saw that very vividly today.

His sad heart feels spurred to action. He said, "I wish I could do more, mama." "I want to work here when I grow up. Then I'd help people all the time. Think of all the kids I'd make happy." "I wish we could stay longer."

We are trying to organize a day for his sunday school class to volunteer there. He wants his next family birthday party to be there. He thinks we can fill a bunch of boxes to feed lots of kids.

I've volunteered there before, but to see it through Isaac's eyes was very powerful.  Isaac knows his life is better than most kids', but this was different. He really saw the injustice of it all. And it made him sad. And he cried. And he helped.

too cute!

 All dressed up for church. Elliot insisted on the tie after Isaac mentioned, "Doesn't Elliot have a tie somewhere?" Next thing I know Isaac is standing on a rocking chair looking in the top drawer for the tie that doesn't even come close to matching and has no business being worn with a long-sleeved polo shirt. It made both of them so happy and brought huge smiles to many faces at church, too!

 To top off the ensemble, Elliot wanted his 10 shirt because it has a navy blue 10 on the back. "It's my uniform. I need a 10 on the front." Considering his tacky tie covered the 10, I decided to indulge him. Again, sooo happy!

 Audrey went a different direction and decided to match this particular Sunday. All dolled up in her Sunday finest.

He loved the tie so much he wore it today with comfy pants and a Vikings jersey. But, what's a boy to do when he gets hot? Lose the shirt, of course, but the tie stays. Obviously!

Side note: Please pray for Mr. Elliot. He has been throwing up randomly, not eating, and feeling generally down in the dumps. It doesn't seem like the flu. I won't go into all of the symptoms here, but needless to say, he isn't happy and we're getting a little worried. We're keeping an eye on it and have a doctor's appointment set, but couldn't get in to see his regular doc until the 5th since she's off all next week. We'll take him in sooner if it continues. Today he said, "I have been feeling bad ALL WEEKEND." Poor boy.

seeing the bigger picture

Isaac and I are volunteering at Feed My Starving Children tomorrow. (www.fmsc.org) I have volunteered there before, filling boxes with a special mix of grains and dehydrated veggies and chicken, to send to children all over the world who are literally starving to death. We run a little late for lunch and my kids say, "I'm starving." They might be feeling the first hint of discomfort at a slightly hungry tummy, but, thankfully, they have never known what it feels like to be truly hungry. As a mother, I cannot imagine the pain of not being able to provide that basic need for my child.

We got a flyer in the mail mentioning that the organization is sending 600,000 meals to Japan, but now they need help restocking their supplies since the meals being sent were set to go to other places. Ghana where Abukari lives. Tanzania where Ivona lives. Mexico where Cristian lives. Haiti. Guatemala. Parts of the United States. Afghanistan. Honduras. Belarus. The list goes on and on.

The kids and I were talking about volunteering and how Audrey could come and help once she turns five. She was so excited. I told them that we'll also bring some money because they need help paying for the food, too. We could find change around the house and  look in wallets and piggy banks. Audrey asked if we could use all of her dada's change that he keeps on the dresser in the closet. Elliot asked if he could dump some out of his piggy bank. Isaac said, "Definitely. It's better to help someone than to buy stuff."

Can I get an Amen?

hat hair at its finest. "Mama, I look like a hooded merganser."

building the parthenon

Audrey's story

We recently read the books Mr. Gumpy's Motor Car and The Story of Ferdinand. Aside from Mr. Gumpy, there was a cast of talking animals and Ferdinand the bull and his mama could talk, too. Audrey and Elliot always find this to be quite silly. This gave us the perfect chance to learn about fiction and animal fantasy books. We talked about stories that start with the words "Once upon a time" and how that's a good clue that it's not real. When we're reading a book with a talking animal, Elliot usually interrupted with, "That can't really happen" and Audrey used to say, "That's just pretend." But now they like to say it's fiction, which means fake. They feel quite fancy with their new vocabulary words!

audrey's all smiles at the science museum.
She got to experiment with the effect of wind on ping pong balls, see how new, stronger gusts of wind can disrupt tornadoes, and watch an OMNI show about Hubble, among other things! But really, she's just holding out until we visit when the King Tut display is open.

Audrey's "assignment" was to write her own animal fiction story. Here's what she came up with.

Audrey's Horse Story

Once upon a time, there was a horse who always like to stay by its mama.
Then they went under a tree they liked to go under every day.
Then they hugged and kissed each other.
Then they went out and jumped around and played.
The End.

Her animals didn't talk, but she made sure she included the "once upon a time."

anticipating spring

We hear the rush of water as it streaks toward gutters. We see peaks of grass where before there was only snow. We go outside with spring jackets and rain boots. We see brave ducks in the sky, back early from their winter retreat. We check nests, left over from last year, for signs of activity. We jump in puddles. We try out new bikes.

Of course, winter lingers in the many inches of snow, the wind, and the (hopefully) final round of winter illnesses. Isaac and Audrey are experiencing the joys of strep throat and Elliot threw up this morning. Isaac seems recovered thanks to modern medicine, but Audrey is still fighting it and, at last check, losing. Elliot had breakfast and has been playing well,so here's hoping that it was a one-time deal.

Either way, we know spring is around the corner and we're eagerly anticipating that first day where we dash to the park "without any winter woolens," as Elliot puts it.

waves

written on 3/11

I am sitting in Panama on a beautiful beach, admiring the Caribbean Sea. Half a world away the world shifted. The ocean, beautiful one moment, a giver of life one moment, decimated a countryside bringing destruction and death and heartbreak and questions. Just yesterday I sat in this same spot, contemplated this same ocean, and thought that staring silently at the power and constance of the ocean and the miles of timeless sand could show people how insignificant our lives, our snapshot of a time on this earth, could be.

Sitting here on this empty beach, I hear only the roar of the waves before me and the rustle of the leaves behind me. I am literally surrounded by God's power and might and glory. Every sight, sound, touch, and smell points to God. And I could live and rely on the constance of the ocean and the timelessness of the sand and the power of the waves and think, 'I'm so small, so insignificant. Look at all that's come before me and all that will continue once I'm gone."

The waves roll in. I see the blue and aqua and green and emerald of the rolling water. I see the brown and tan of the sand, little specks accumulated from the ocean bottom somewhere, someplace, brought to this beach, pulled back out and returned yet again to be a sandcastle or the base of a bonfire or a place to set my foot as I walk this idyllic beach.

I could be insignificant. Or I could be a drop of water in the ocean that, with a breath of wind, joins to become a wave. Bringing power and beauty, not destruction. Working together to mold the shoreline with gentleness and love, not pain and heartbreak. Changing the little piece of the world that I touch every day, with every

God breathed gust of wind.

nowhere

Yesterday my mom asked how I'm doing now that I've been home over a month. She also mentioned that she and Keith had enjoyed reading about Costa Rica here. Coincidentally, I had just written about that very thing. I feel dramatic for still feeling this way. Like I should snap out of it or something. But I can't. So, here's what I'm thinking. Here's how I'm struggling.

I am not here and I am not there. Or maybe I am here and there. Either way, I am in this limbo where my body, detached as it is from my mind, remains stuck in this cold, frozen landscape, while my mind and its many thoughts roam the Costa Rican countryside. Even as I huddle under a turtleneck sweater and a blanket, eyes accustomed to the sea of gray and white that’s surrounded me for the last five months, I see miles of green vividly shimmer before me. Even as I hear my children play nerf basketball downstairs, my ears strain to hear the whoosh of the wind as it tickles the many leaves in the rainforest. Even as I sing songs of praise and worship to the thump of a bass guitar, my heart is walking the unpaved road with Faviola, Cristian, and Kimberly, singing songs in Spanish, burying toes in sand, wading in the river, and thinking about how my life of excess stands in the way of my faith and dependence on Christ. I am nowhere. I feel stuck and impotent and useless. All because I am not here and I am not there.


How will I find my way to one place? Is there a road that will lead me to my destination? If I know where I’m to be, how can I stay here? And how do I disentangle all of the things pulling me in all these directions? How do I make it make sense? Why did God send me there only to have me come home in such a state of confusion and sadness and longing for a place I cannot be?

I will continue to seek and question and pray. It is all I can do.

reason 12,289,354,652 I love this girl

I tucked Audrey in last night. It is, perhaps, the best part of the day. Not because it means all three children will soon be in dreamland while I have a few hours to learn spanish, read the bible, fold laundry, blog, wash dishes, etc., but because it is a time to talk one on one with each child. We talk about the day, pray for people we love, tickle each other's toes, and just hang out for a few minute. It really is priceless. Anyway, last night we were singing songs and chatting. Audrey said something funny. Or maybe I did. I can't remember exactly.

What I do remember was Audrey's laugh. She could not catch her breath. The giggles tumbled and leaped over each other like a raging river fighting its way downstream. When she could finally manage a huge gulp of air she choked out, "I was laughing so hard I drooled on my pillow." Then we laughed all over again. This time it was hard to tell whose laugh was louder.

We finally got ourselves under control and I told her my favorite part of today just happened when we were laughing so hard. She thought about it for a while because, to Audrey, choosing her favorite part of the day is of utmost importance. She said, "My favorite part of today was playing 'wha' with Maclain." Noting the confusion on my face she explained, "Maclain pulls my hair and I say, 'wha, wha?' while he does that." That makes no sense to me, but to Audrey, it was the best in a very good day.

Oh, I love that girl.

playing brainquest with Elliot. She loves helping him with the answers

A rousing endorsement

This morning we were all squashed into our bed, snuggling and giggling and pretending there was a chance Jim and I would get another moment of rest before we were all up and at 'em. Elliot squeezed me tight and said, "You're the goodest mama we ever got!" I guess I'll take that as a compliment!